went back my sec sch earli mornin..todae supposed to b e last dae to collect e tix..reached dat time haf to lie to e security guards dat i injured my toe lor..feelin quite stupid..den hor..me tink it's kinda stupid to haf 2 security guards at 1 booth n attendin to 1 person tgt..cant dey attend to 2 person at e same time..dun tell me dey juz slackin away to get their pay?! i aso wan say dat my sec sch policy of nt allowin visitors wearin sandals/slippers is stupid..we ar no longer e students dere..wad rite do u pple haf to decide wad i wan to wear? some pple plz do sth abt it..wah sumor heard dat my junior got scolded bcoz of his dyed hair -.- sigh..sch so inflexible..

went back to choir..saw dat e choir haf changed alot..onli e minority tucked in their tee..almost everybody wear ankle socks..tink alot brought their hps aso..such a big change lor..but got 1 tink reali impressed is their discipline..so gd..mayb onli todae i aso duno..normally durin our timex we will stroll in even when we ar late after a break..but dey were quietly seated even b4 e break is over..

ok den rushed hme to help sis make up for her grad nite..was shocked dat her nails nt done up yet n mummy nt hme lor..aiyo den wait for sooo long den can help her make up..ended up we both late..missed 2 buses n 1 mrt lor..so suay..when i reached sch dey finished singin le den i onli dere to listen to announcements n their 'thank you'..

after dat went jp eat wif mavis..tok quite awhile..hmm thks gal..see u on sat..hope we will haf fun..

tink thru todae again..mayb i shd find out e real reason bhind it..sigh..

ok it's time to watch tv le..yawnx..

ya free to slack ma..me lik to slack..dun lik to b bz all day..lik to do my own stuff..stare n drm..hmm me is dreamer lai de..of coz will rmb most of e drms..hmm workin mayb nxt yr ba..nt tis yr..me still nt prepared..

erm did nth much todae aso..tok to my bestfrend todae..dosent make me feel better lor..u haf to buck up..muz cheer me up..

hmm tml mayb goin back rv to collect e tix wif my frend..hope wun stranded outside canot go in..e security guard better dun re me..den sat got concert..sunday my sec eng teacher wan meet us..most prob goin..hope it wun make me feel worse..

tot todae could finish my task de..but sth unexpected happened la..so muz wait 1 mor wk le..sigh..ok nth le..done wif my entry..duno wad to write leh..

sigh feelin chao moody nw..alot alot of tinx went thru my mind..me felt so alone..it seem s dat im e onli 1 person in my world..dat's sad..sometimex i juz had no1 to turn to..hmm sounds depressin rite? i felt lik a failure..truth of life..truth of pple..haf to face it..grow up lil ger..grow up fast..so u wun feel so helpless..

i had another drm again..i tink i forgot le..too engrossed in other stuff today..

didnt do much todae.felt so empty..mayb shd start tryin to start my hw ba..nth to do anyway..shall try motivate myself soon..

suddenly felt lik eatin chocs..but no chocs in e hse..sian la..sigh..mayb tml will b a better day..

yest didnt update..wan write abt e drm i had for e last 2 nitex..let's start frm e 'older' drm..was quite 'mixed'la..hmm drmt of someone apologisin to me..made me chao confused..den i was attendin some course near a beach at a nt so developed village..den duno wad happened la..me was strollin on e beach alone..saw alot of books lyin arnd..me took 2 of dem..1 was halfway torn..means e 1st part of e storybk gone la..den after dat i tink i got a 'vision'..a corpse face down in e waters..me freaked out..quickly run away to e jetty..den met 3 of my frends..tis shuai ge [i didnt saw his face]..n 1 gal 1 boy [siblings]..i told dem wad happened..den dat shuai ge wan help me leave e beach..so he volunteered to ride e spped boat n leave tgt..but e tinx is he duno how to operate..but still he managed to start e engine n steer e boat..i juz sat at e back..held on to him tightly..i felt his warmth in my drm..security..hmm but ended up me all wet..mayb alittle onli la..after reachin e village housin area..he left..den me at e siblings' apartment..after dat happened alot of stuff..den i scared jiu wan call hme..take out hp..den realised it's wet le..i tried dial '679...' den turn out all 6666..me juz freaked out lor..den panic..off n on my hp..den try again..tis time got a 'movie' playin lor..saw my 2 instructors n 1 staff outside a shop i tink..den e 2 guys quarel..still got anoter 1 shows e life e common pple had..after dat [outside e hse] a car frm e city drove in..wahh finally got hope..me wan borrow hp frm e driver..he agreed n took out his hp..but b4 he could hand it over to me..he was interrupted by a police officer demandin his employees to pay e fine..den he was angry at his employers n started scoldin dem as he got onto e car n drove off..boo hoo me gone le..cant get hme..

after dat wake up le..

2nd drm..is drm of sittin inside a car wif alot of other pple..i duno how is tis possible aso..den i was sittin in e front row seat wif 2 other pple [e driver n 1 other gal]..den duno y..we ended up at a 'broken bridge'..den we ar supposed to drive n drop down so dat a big boat down dere..ya..will 'catch us'..me afraid of heights lor..kp tryin to persuade e driver nt to do so..wah sumor im in e front seat..heart attack =( after veri long realli got go down lor..den alot of strugglin..den got up safely under e bridge..den we ar supposed to do a cheer bcoz we succeeded -.- e other sch cheered 1st den it was great la..when it was our turn..some stupid pple start to sing a song which most of us duno e lyrics..den ended up our pple lose face lor..

end my drm..actalli these 2 drms alot of details..but i 'filtered' out le..scared too long n borin..hmm todae decided to finish off my task..mayb tml den end ba..feelin so tired nw..yawnx..

todae saw a tv prog..den evoke my tots..set me tinkin..when happiness comes, rmb to cherish it n fight for it..n for 2 persons to meet n fall in love is a miracle..u may haf met ur e onli one thousands n thousands of timex w/o knowin..den on 1 fine dae..at dat veri moment..e 2 pairs of eyes met n a story begins..isnt it a miracle?

hahax todae went shoppin wif my sis lor..for some cosmetics for her prom nite..she was so funni lor..everytinx duno how to choose..den came hme jiu straight away help her try out e make up..den she fell in love wif herself d= make up can do wonders..

ok nw havin gastric..skipped my lunch todae /= no appetite..later my shuai ge gan gor gor comin to vist..yea..

yest went for level 1 rock climbin..was so late..coz waited for somebody for 18 mins..reach e destination saw boss face black lik guan gong..was veri veri scared lor..see all e kids dere lik tian bu pai di bu pai lidat..so fast climb up jiu come down..me was lik stunned..1st time climb up was lik havin breathin difficulty..kp pantin..den dun dare look anywhere xcept up..when i reach e top, i dun even dere to let go of e rocks to come down..veri scared i let go jiu die le..alycia was belayin me at dat time..den when i was halfway down [but still in mid air] everytinx stop..i mean i stop movin downwards..den i so scared to even to look down n see wad happened..when i finally reached earth..i was so relieved..phew..

2nd climb was 'smoother'..but still as scared la..reached e top den nid come down aso hesitate to let go..collen was belayin me tis time den she let me down so fast until i cant take it..kp screamin to slow down..reached earth jiu feel lik cryin le..

3rd climb..boss volunteered to belay me..wah muz say he was much mor stble than my 1st 2 belayers..thks..but tis time didnt finish e climb..when im halfway up..i cant reach any of e rocks [nt within my reach]..den i dun dare to try stretch / reach hard / jump to grab any stone above..so i decided to come down..

so dat's e end of everytinx yest..

hmm todae goin to do some tinkin n slack le..yawnx..

Your Japanese Name Is...

Yumako Shimizu

Your Birthdate: March 10

Independent and dominant, you tend to be the alpha dog in most situations. You're very confident, and hardly anything ever shakes you. Mundane tasks tend to drain you - you prefer to be making great plans. You are quite original. When people don't "get" you, it bothers you a lot. Your strength: Your ability to gain respect Your weakness: Caring too much what others think Your power color: Orange-red Your power symbol: Letter X Your power month: October

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Your Personality Profile

You are pure, moral, and adaptable. You tend to blend into your surroundings. Shy on the outside, you're outspoken to your friends. You believe that you live a virtuous life... And you tend to judge others with a harsh eye. As a result, people tend to crave your approval.

The World's Shortest Personality Test

You Are 20% Boyish and 80% Girlish

Even if you're not a girl, you're very feminine. You're in touch with your feelings, and your heart rules you. A bit of a emotional roller coaster, one moment you're up and the next you're down. But no matter what, you try to be as cute and perky as possible.

How Boyish or Girlish Are You?

Your Observation Skills Get A C

You tend to notice the big things in life... But the details aren't exactly your forte

How Observant Are You?

What Your Sleeping Position Says

You are calm and rational. You are also giving and kind - a great friend. You are easy going and trusting. However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games.

What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You?

Slow and Steady

Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It'd really surprise them if you ever did something impulsively or on the spur of the moment. They expect you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then usually decide against it.

How Do People See You?

Your Ideal Relationship is Marriage

You've dated enough to know what you want. And that's marriage - with the right person. You're serious about settling down some time soon. Even if you haven't met the person you want to get hitched to!

What's Your Ideal Relationship?

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was insecure and in constant need of reassurance. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you can get or discard anytime. You're feeling self centered.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

wahh e skin on my forehead starts to peel le..siann..lik contracted some skin disease lidat..patches of white appearin on my tanned skin -.- yawnx recently kp slpin lik pig lor..dun feel lik gettin out of bed coz it's much warmer under e blanket..e weather is cold..den in addition..e noisy works downstairs..dey ar tryin to 'destroy' e bball court n upgrade..den yest nite..some pple ar tryin to pour new tar on e highway..den chao noisy lor..cant even slp peacefully in e nite..

ate fish head curry todae..quite nice even though nt as nice as last time de..woa both my sista out todae..den my ah ma cant stand e noise den went to her old hse tis mornin..left me alone..feelin kind of empty in e hse..xcept for e noise la..givin me headaches n ear aches..aiyo..

been tinkin yest..hmm..leaves still wither n e day still gif place to e nite..even e so-called evershinin stars will die out eventually..eternity does nt exist in reality..u lied..

hmm didnt do much todae..but did abit of writin..my hse soo noisy todae lor..bball court 'renovatin'..den opp block aso got pple renovatin hse..den lik here 'plang plang' dere 'tuu tuu tuu'..so irritatin lor..

argh tml go kayakin me somewhere feelin veri uneasy..duno y..my horoscope says me will haf lotx of fun tml but i lik worryin tis worrin dat de..scared later dropped into water den my specs sink to e bottom..scared later i suddenly duno how to swim..scared later kayak kayak halfway no strength den faint..hmm y lidat har? feelin so insecure =/

sigh me gettin fatter le..nid go do some exercise soon..todae got dizzy spells lor..if stand up after sittin mor than 5 mins i'll see lotx of stars den lik goin black out lidat )=

hmm todae 18 dec..so fast..sigh ar tinx goin to get betta?

aiyo me sick le la..went see doc tis mornin..got itchy red eyes, running n blocked nose, sore throat n headaches..slpt my dae away..didnt do much la..skipped my lunch aso..

i tink i gainin weight le..recently ate alot of junk..erm b4 i start rattlin abt todae..mayb i shd tok abt yest..

yest went shoppin wif collen n eileen..had quite a bit of fun..we shop frm mornin to late afternoon lidat..hee found out dat collen reali noe how to bargain lor..nxt time wan shop muz ask her out..she so li4 hai4..den eileen was e most troublesome de..look here look dere..look for veri veri long until me wan zzz..kp yawnin lor..me bought wad i wan..nt clothes la of coz..hmm wihen budget den quite satisfied..but hope nxt time can shop longer..dey brought me to bugis village..wah dat place bustling wif pple lor..got alot alot of stuff dere..i tink i didnt go dere b4..even though my mummy say dat i went dere when i was quite young b4..okok dat's e end le..

den went hme bathe etc etc..watch vcd at nite..[wang2 zi3 bian4 qing1 wa1]..watch until cry lor..e endin..hmm dang ou was so nice towards tianyu..tianyu hao3 jian1 qiang2..yong3 qing4 ke3 jia1..me da3 cong2 xin1 li3 xian4 mu4 ta1..when she faced obstacles, she'll nv say die..dang ou aso..he nv gif up..cont to da3 dong4 tianyu..so gan3 ren2 rite?

let's come back to todae..hmm feelin abit confused la..read my horoscope..it says i shdnt b too jian1 chi2 in makin pple who ar leavin to stay..mayb dat's wad i shd exercise..jiayoux ba lil ger..

me wan to xiang1 xing4..bcoz xiang1 xing4 bi3 jiao4 xing4 fu2..

sigh 2 daes nv update le..feelin alittle strnage..collen har dun say i chao lao le la )= me nt lor..me still so young..17 onli..

so sian..havin sore throat, runnin nose n rashes nw..feelin alittle feverish aso..argh me SICK le!!!! sigh me so kelian..tml goin shoppin le..hope will haf a great time..

these 2 daes bei4 zi4 ji3 de4 mei4 mei4 qi4 si3 le4..she tinks she's always rite n kp dao-in me..den diao me..dui4 pple mei2 da4 mei2 xiao3 de4..so irritatin la..argh i hate her..ahh [censored]

hmm goin eat dinner soon le..lik no appetite leh..sigh feel lik havin a veri long slp n nv wake up..

these 2 daes kp drmin..veri nice dreams..if i could cont drmin jiu hao le..coz drms will nv come true for me de..wad i drm dun usually come true =/ sigh..hope tonite will haf sweet drm again..

hmm yest forgot to add on..my cousin brought his lil baby ger to lunch tgt too..she was sooooo cute..she got big eyes, thick lips n 2 dimples..me pretty xian4 mu4 her..coz she's so pure..innocent..protected..n loved..even though she can onli xpress herself thru e occasionally chuckles n shieking n cries..she could get everyone's else attention..e care n concern pple showered on her makes me envy her mor..sometimes i wish i could go back in time n start life all over again..to b in somebody's arms..wif everyone 'ooo-in' n 'ahh-in' when i smile..cuddles me tight when i starts to cry..i wun feel any fan2 nao3 or pain..

sigh im losin hope..i duno how i live each dae..me had no idea..sometimex i dun even noe wad am i doin n wad's my aim..

todae made herbal tea for my 2nd sis..she requested sayin she tinks she's havin a sore throat n felt feverish..i agreed..went out of e rm n walked into e kitchen..i rmb clearly where ar all e ingredients ar put..n of coz where e pot is kept..sigh but nw e feelin is diff..it's for my family..when do i start to make herbal tea for my sis?! 1st time in history =/

sigh i..duno wad else to add on le..tink tonite will b another silent nite alone..

yest went marina eat steamboat for 05S17 outin..it's our 1st claz outin..e turnout was pretty gd la..hee me n my m2m partner went arnd to 'dig' for gossips..wah nid go ask sumor when im free..found out sth le..partner rite? after dat reach hme at arnd 11+pm lor..had to bathe coz smell lik bbq chicken..after bathin still nid wait for hair to dry..den shun bian pei sis watch 'seven swords'..me see until catch no ball..

yawnx nw juz came back frm sentec aso..went suntec eat lunch..uncle wan to treat us coz he leavin singapore soon le..wah ate until stomach bulge le..these 2 daes eat so much..wan fat fat le..

hmm city hall area shdnt b e place im visitin these few daes..i still nid time..sigh..felt lik goin on a holiday nw..go somewhere faraway where there is sun, sand, clouds, sea and water..to unwind..

mayb recently watch too much ou3 xiang4 ju4 le..den abit affected..argh..hmm shall agree dat..ya love hurts..it's nt sth forever sweet n always end with a happy endin..onli true love last..forever..i believe those dramas will nt bluff me de..am i rite? im nt onli referin to love between lovers la..can apply to all relationships between humans..friendships aso..

1st op finish le..tml shall go market wif mummy in e mornin to buy apples for my grp members..u pple did a great job..thks pple..

nxt..hmm todae came back jiu watch vcd until 6++..watch full hse..quite nice n funni la..after dat jiu watch [wang zi bian qing wa]..hmm finalli dang ou is back..ye tianyu ni yao xin fu wor..

juz finish my i&r n maths assignment 17..later offline le jiu nid do tutorial n assignment 18 le..sigh tml got maths lesson..so sian..

m2m takin action tml..hee i charge hao digi cam batt le..

recently duno wad's wrong aso..mayb pms-in ba..nt sure aso..feelin reali down n depressed all of e sudden..for no particular reason..

1 wk le..izit time for me to move on? or shd i cont to longer for alittle longer..sigh where's my lighthouse?

hmm todae had my last rehearsal..woa todae post 2 entries lor..is tis crazy..hmm bao bao nw..daddy cooked noodles todae..yum yum..yawnx feelin so tired nw..

sigh todae kp sneezin..den i use lotx of tisue until nose bled a little..tml op le..hope everytinx goes on smoothly tml..ok after op still nid edit i&r n do maths assignments lor..wah so mang..hmm after bloggin jiu go bathe n memorise script le..

to all 05S17 pple, jiayoux tml..gd luck..me will b back tml d=

ok todae shall b diff..update earli in e mornin..hmm sick le..got runny nose n dizzy spells again..sigh..sumor later haf to go sch for op rehearsal..tml real tinx le..fri still got maths lessons..me wan a break!! still got alot of stuff havnt do..maths havnt touch lor..die le..

yest didnt slp well..was veri veri tired but sista-s kp screamin loudly complainin wan on air-con la..another 1 wan open windows in e middle of e nite..wah..nw feelin quite tired stil..yawnx..

yest watch [stairway to heaven]..dat taihua commit suicide to donate his corneas to jingshu..so she can see e 1 she love again..wah she soo xin fu even though she went thru alot alot to gain back her happiness..nxt episode she dyin liao..hmm..

tonite wan watch [wang zi bian qing wa]..goin to b sad..ok shall nt elaborate..tonite watch 1at..

ye4 zi3 de4 li2 qu4 shi4 feng1 de4 zhui1 qiu2 hai2 shi4 shu4 de4 bu4 wan3 liu2?
sadly, is shu4 de4 bu4 wan3 liu2..

hmm todae got mixed feelings..1st of all muz thank my bestfrend..hehex u noe who u ar rite? thks for cheerin me up todae..me feelin alittle betta le..ya veri long didnt meet up n had fun tgt le..hope u ask me out often to relieve stress..at least u made me feel small yet significant (= coz u cared..thanks a million..n rmb u still owe me a drink hor d= if ur hair receive mor compliments muz thank me le lor..tml op jiayoux wor..take care..

comin up nxt is my lunch n dinner todae..mummy cooked chicken curry..so nice..oh ya..hahax..nth..me felt quite xin fu todae..xcept for ********..sigh me feelin too tired to even tink le..mayb dat's e reason y im feelin alittle cheerful nowades..

op thurs..comin le..muz prac hao hao..hmm jiayoux to our grp ba..sigh duno y when nite falls i'll start to feel loney again..ok dun tink le..betta go prepare my op script..ah choo..aiyo sick le..hmm later wan watch tv le..shall nt be draggy here..nt gd..hehex 1 mor tinx..collen dun say anytinx bad abt me lor..me got grow 0.5cm leh..mayb nw is 144.5+++cm le..

ooo im back le..lik kp updatin everydae..todae did nth much aso..didnt noe i was so tires..when i go rm take clothes juz nw..den juz fell aslp..mummy took veri long to wake me up lor..hmm den realised i mayb grown alittle taller le..

aiyo onli managed to do op but didnt touch maths yet..kp slackin..

heel betta le la for info all who cared..juz got a strip of bruise on my heel n another 1 on my knee..thks k? esp to my m2m partner d=

been e 2nd day le..ar tinx goin to get betta? hmm..i tink i still lack e courage ba..dat's y i haf a vision dat tinx will b fine..eventually..hope lao tian ye wun disappoint me..n shatter my onli glimmer of hope n belief in miracles..im still wishin..upon e stars..

hmm todae was quite a borin day in fact..heel recoverin le..at least can touch e floor lightly w/o pain..tink will b quit tired every nite..feelin so exhausted every nite..for a few nitex le..duno how i fell aslp..didnt even haf to try to get myself to slp..

den whole dae spent doin sth impt..in e process, e memories of e past juz kind of resurface..sigh duno if tis was meant to torture me..but i blive i'll b strong..jiayoux ba..

tml shall do alittle maths n op le..muz start studyin soon or i'll regret later when i cant catch up..sigh 1 mor yr jiu graduate le..so fast..these 2 yrs lik pass in twinkling of an eye..but so many happenings..after my graduation muz go catch a breather..such along and diff journey ahead..wad am i sayin nw? sigh shall end here lor..shall update tml..

sigh went to sch for odac trainin today..was late den did nth coz heel still hurts..ended watchin dem exercise..hate dat feelin..e sky looks cloudy tis mornin..bad omen..dun lik rainy days..

came back hme..daddy help me rub some oilment on my heel..wah pain pain..kp ahh-in..after dat jiu bcme 'scented' leg le..nw still hurts..

sigh tink alot of pple start to suspect le..even my mummy..she asked my sis abt me..den i told my sis wad happened [onli e last part]..den kind of suppressed my emotions..muz ren until late in e nite when nobody's lookin..e world continues to spin..we continues our lives..nobody will stop n see if dat leaf on dat tree down e road is still as green..nobody will observe if e clouds haf moved..or e sun has changed his mood n decided to onli shine for 1 sec shorter..

i sat on e same bus n saw us sittin opp my seat..i tried to distract myself..but cant stop tinkin..i got off e bus..i walked [or rather limped] hme..down dat veri same path..i looked at e flowers..at e trees..at e blue sky..e sky seems brighter than usual today..dat feelin is diff..dat 'empty' feelin seems to grow stronger..i felt no pain here..onli emptiness..

nw sittin on dat veri chair..i start to tink again..usin e same keyboard..typin..can u hear me? e words hidden here..is callin out for u..onli u haf e key to unlock e secrets within..if u lost it..u nid to find it back..find back dat courage fast..b4 it's gone..forever..

wah fell down in e toilet tis mornin..hurt my ankle..nw quite swollen n bruised..tml got odac sumor..duno how to run..cant even stand properly lor..sigh hope tml will b a brand new day..

sigh feelin reali veri *********** nw..mayb i dun feel it..coz i kind of numb le ba..will time reali heals ma? i wun regret my decision de..no matter wad..plz dun let me regret k? it onli took less than 2 mins to end everytinx..den it's gone..forever..

i tot at least there's hope..i held back..but ur reply made me felt silly to gif u mor time to hurt me..mayb i haf tried too hard..reali too hard..sigh it's time to learn to let go minna..u will grow up..i will learn..to believe in love again..

hmm tis is my 1st entry in tis new blog..it's created to pei4 he2 S17 de..coz got a claz blog..wad am i craapin abt..wah finger hurts lor..duno y..mayb protestin for usin comp too long le..shall long talk short say..

wad's my feelin nw? confused..sad..lonely ba..

opps i startin to tok to myself again..hmm mayb too long nv blog le..nvm shall get used to it soon..so wad ar e ultimate aims in craetin tis blog?? to 'pen' down my tots n events ba..hope u pple wun find my upcomin entries borin k? n try nt tok abt wad i type here in sch in frnt of me..ok mayb me will sensor some of my events away -.- cant reveal so much stuff here..me nt veri shou wif u all..okok type so long le..can stop here le ma? of coz rite? see tokin to myself again..

yawnx..decided to cont tml le..dunwan say much todae..nt in e mood..see ya pple..muz comment hor [even though nth much to comment abt..i agree]