ok..muz do a quick update todae..havin a headache nw..argh so sian..mayb smell too much thinner le..im dyin..somebody save me..

ok i noe it's nt funni -.-

hmm todae seem a veri strange dae..some pple ar sad..some ar hapi..some ar ok..some ar tryin to seem ok..e world is such a strange place..dere isnt any time or moment when all is happi..dat's sad..sigh..truth of life often makes me wan to sigh..me dun wan to grow up..

was late for odac again..actualli supposed to b on time but....when i saw e bus 99 comin i rmb i forgotten to brg sth veri impt..e list of stuff food com nid to buy..so i ran back hme..den mummy ask me take cab..i ran to e bus stop..to my surprise i saw yaojun..hahax he told me dunid take cab la bus comin le..so i ended up takin e bus lor..

did alot of stuff todae..admin com muz thank me le..n weiqing big slacker lor..aiyo [shakes head]..nw alot of brain cells dead le..

hmm stomach feelin betta in e afternoon le..ate rice for dinner..yea..

oh ya..tot of wad to make for xmas for my frends le..lookin forward to xmas..coz it's e day when dere's lotx of joy of givin..love..done le..

wah it seems so long since i last posted an entry..hmm yest was quite or reali a happi day for me..i duno y..i juz feel so happi..

mornin wake up by mummy's call..felt so irritated lor..my sis went hk le..den mummy n another sis went out to send her off..left me alone at hme wif grandpa n grandma..mummy called to ask me open door for grandma so she can go for her mornin walk..

i draggd myself out of bed to open e door den went washed up..decided to go back to slp in den realised grandpa was 'half out of bed' [lower part of his body out of bed]..den i juz went in to help him up lor..me reali used alot of energy to help him sit up on his bed..but den his butt was half nt on his bed den oh no..he's slippin off his bed..ahh help..den he insisted on sittin up..after some strugglin..he reali slipped off..n i cant let his head hit e ground..so i slipped wif him..n let his head fall on me..

phew..relieved..but im stuck wif his head on me..n i cant get up..he's so heavy -.- n me sick sumor..had nt been eatin alot n proper..when i finalli seperated myself frm him i called mummy for help..den i went back to attend to him..kp tokin to im lor..den suddenly he turned to 1 side..i tapped his shoulder..no response..onli fingers moved..tapped again..no response..

"ah gong ni ok ma?"

"deng la [wait]"

wah me almost freaked out..den mummy was openin e door le..den she helped him up lor..in between details too much le..cant possibly write everytinx down..

after dat went market wif mummy..ooo fun part..bought wad i wan eat for lunch n dinner..yong tao fu..last time mummy didnt buy when i requested..yea aso didnt some shoppin at prime..bught cookies, instant noodles etc etc..den got a free star shaped container..

went hme eat bread for breakfast..den i helped tidy drawers in e kitchen..found tis packet of jelly powder..hee den jiu wanted make jellies..so i start to prepare ingredients lor..mummy complained dat my hands lik legs lidat..hahax den measure water, sugar..sugar nt enuff..went downstairs buy..so enthu hor..den mix mix mix lik witch [i reduced e recommended amt o f sugar by half]..

lunch hr..yea my 1st rice meal after soo long..miss rice..reali -.- felt so happi..

3 hrs later..my jellies ar ready to serve..yum yum..xcept nt sweet..nxt time shall add alittle mor le..i ate abt 5 lidat..still got alot inside e fridge..

afternoon feed fish saw dat little thin fish..i once ask mummy to seperate it frm others b4 le..but she said dere ar bound to b 'qiang ze' n 'ruo ze'..e other fishes always 'bully' it..lik chased him arnd..it dun dare to come up to e surface to grab for food when i poured in e fish food aso..hmm lucky me nt bullied by pple la..even though sometimex yes..but i felt kind of lucky..thks pple..

nite time..thunderstorm..me woke up by e sudden rain..chked windows..den aso disturbed by other stuff lik heard noises..tot it was grandpa..rushed out to realise it was daddy..went back zzz..

flashes of lightning n roars of thunder reali scare me out of my wits..sigh alone..felt so insecure..i hid under my blanket dat nite [ok last nite]..lucky didnt cried..

4+ am..woke up n rush to e toilet..la du zi again..wah i felt so sad lor..went 2 timex in e mornin..up till nw tink 3 or 4 timex after i tot i recovered le..sianned..sigh when m i goin to get betta..sumor tml got trainin..will i haf e energy ma..veri long didnt eat a gd meal wif veggie, meat, fruits, rice, cereals etc etc..miss all e gd stuff..wah can hear my stomach protestin..juz ate 2 pills to stop e diarrohea..sigh spirits goin down again..breakfast n lunch ate bread onli..sigh..

shall update tml again ba..tis entry reali long enuff le..hope u all nt fallin aslp wor..yawnx..tink go bathe soon..dinner sigh..

argh i hate e feelin of nt able to eat gd stuff..sigh had stomach prob since young..my stomach had always nt been strong n healthy..hope i recover soon so i can eat chocs, ice cream n biscuits again..nw still had some strange strange movement inside my stomach lor..

yest nite tot alot..sigh den tok to my frend tis afternoon..had some new tots again..

i tink i noe myself alittle mor..i dun lik pple who haf no opinion of their own..reali..everyone has to haf their own set of values n beliefs..hmm n mayb we shd stand by it n make small changes to b betta..n i tink i still wanna b a lil ger ger..sigh dunwan to grow up so fast..u say im childish but i dun care n dun mind..as long as i tink it's ok..me jiu ok le..

didnt do much todae la..sigh been in e depressed mode again..shall cont tml..

sigh feelin veri bad nw..got a growling stomach n throbbin headache..went to meet 4g pple n ms chong todae..bought her flowers..hope she lik it..wah me went dere stare onli lor..cant eat any stuff..was lik drinkin water onli..poor me..

ok met up wif 4g pple..thks to all who made me smile..thks pple..esp to my jie jie..me didnt blame u la..hope to see u pple soon..

ok nth much to say todae la..juz reali nt eelin veri well..went see doc in e mornin again..tink i might got alittle food poisonin ba..wah hope i get well soon so i can get to eat gd food..nid rest earlier tonite le..feelin dizzy..izit frm hunger??

me decided le..mayb i shd trust me, myself n i..

juz came hme..e concert was ok la..hcjc choir reali veri veri zai [claps]..rv chorale was quite gd aso..qrgh nw tryin to recall wad i typed earlier coz somehow wad i typed was nt published -.-

sori to choir pple..me didnt go out wif u pple coz i no mood n cant eat anytinx..stomach prob..

went bugis shop wif susan n mavis..was a funny shoppin experience la..susan as usual..clumsy d= mavis was nt her usual self..guessed too tired ba..looked reali slpy..hmm u rest well n when we got time we go shop again k? i got lotx of stuff wanna buy..skirt..necklace..dangling earings..nice ring..sunglasses..etc etc..n xmas presents aso..hope got time..me havnt even touch hw yet..goin die le /=

sigh tml goin to meet 4g pple n drink plain water while u pple eat gd food..dat stupid doc no use de..everytime i consumed food my stomach hurts lor..sigh..sianned..but anyway hope will haf fun tml..still havnt decide wad to wear leh..hmm tml mornin had to bathe le..

tml mornin had to eat porridge again..reali scared will ended up in e hospital..

hmm tot thru durin e bus journey back..shdnt waste any mor time n tears le..it's nt worth it..shd start all over again..n live my life to e fullest..jiayoux lil ger..u can do it..sigh..lack confidence still..

hmm yest went odac trainin..was tough..i felt..to kp up wif andy's pace..wah he so fast den i accidentally knocked my knee lor..nw bruise le la..all his fault )=

actualli was late for trainin..lucky boss didnt punish me d= mornin had stomachache..i mean yest mornin..den went la du zi..dat's y late lor..mummy was lik rushin me to get out of e hse..

prac end jiu wet eat kfc wif alycia n kaili..den meihong n sophie joined..after dat ate a mr softee aso..den i pei kaili go jp..reached jp jiu stomach pain le..wah cannot..muz go toilet..ok jp level 1 toilet is reali nice lor..totally impressed..but i dun lik e flushin system..duno how it operate de lor..quite fed up..

hmm reached hme e pain got mor intense den jiu ahh..pain..pain..and PAIN!!

mummy ask me eat e usual medicine..ate le tried go to slp but often wake up in cold sweat bcoz of e pain..it's so unbearable dat i tot i might nid to go to e hospital for a chk up coz my usual doc said b4 dat if at anytime e pain gets reali horrible i shd go hospital for chk up coz it might b mang chang yan den nid operation de..i was so scared lor ).=

den even in my sis help me go register name to see doc..i jiu set out wif mummy..den turn out to b a male doc -.- wah sianned..my sis still assured me he has white hair n look experienced..

went in i explained i got serious stomachache, la du zi 4 timex up till dat time la..nw 5 timex le..den feel nauseous aso..he juz help listen to my tummy..knock here knock dere den say as lotx of air inside..n he'll prescribe some medicine..end of story..dotx..me start to worry..does he reali wan cure me???

he prescribed 2 types of medicine for me..1 is to stop e pain [painkillers in layman terms]..another to stop e diarhoea [i duno how to spell la] den he ask me eat 2 of both types 3 timex a dae..den e nurse commented dat mayb i shd take 1 tabs 3 timex a dae jiu enuff coz my usual family doc dun let me consumed so much bcoz of my weight..nt considered as adult weight..wah is tis male doc tryin to murder me?! hope me will b alrite la..even though i still feel pain n cont to la du zi tis mornin..if nt i haf to go see doc again n complain le /=

todae later goin out wif mavis n susan le..been choosin wad to wear e whole mornin..we goin shoppin n attend a choir concert in e evenin..hope me had fun even though i cant enjoy gd food later..im achin everywhere nw..includin my butt /=

yawnx later sure will late late come hme de..siann..sigh..nvm nid learn to b strong le lil ger..cant help it..sigh..shall cont tml ba..

hmm did nth much todae aso..slpt after my breakfast coz reali veri veri tired..e nite b4 went out wif mummy to fetch sis frm bus stop..hai4 me stayed up until quite late..mayb 1+am ba..wait for her to finish bathin..did my usual 30 sit-ups in e afternoon..slack alot..

erm sth BIG happened in my hse todae..got a new tv set..hee but is my parents de..dey put inside their rm coz daddy always complain we galz always dun let him watch e channels he wan..

yawnx tml got odac..so long didnt train le..i scared i cmi..hope tml will me a shun li day for me..kp yawnin again..tink nt enuff slp ba..after bloggin tink go slp le..tml nid energy to survive..

nw i haf to state 5 random things abt myself..coz im tagged..

1. i had a habit of drinkin a glass of water after my 30++ min bath..n i duno y..i onli noticed myself doin tis a few wks ago..hmm mayb 1 day i will find out y i do dat ba..anybody else haf such a strange habit? i felt strange whenever i automatically reach for my cup after bathin..

2. i had 2 small orange blankets which i nid to fall aslp every nite..i had dem since young..until nw i still cant do w/o dem..hahax strange habit again..im a weirdo..even my sistas haf grown out of usin small blankets..

3. im afraid to slp alone..veri veri scared..for my own rm..it's still ok la..but other places i juz felt so insecure..duno y..since young im accustomed to sharin rm wif my sistas so mayb dat's e reason ba..

4. im admire those who noe how to play e piano..dey look so pro when playin e piano..i always wanted to do so since young but my parents dun agree coz dey said e hse has no rm for a piano..so mayb when im older..i go learn myself lor..dat's 1 of my drm ba..

5. i lik e beach..got sand, sun n wind..at nite dere ar stars n e cold breeze..so romantic..hmm i tink it's a luxury to lie on e sand n sunbathe..so warm n relaxin..e vast sea seemed so big dat it make me soo insignificant..e sea breeze made me feel so light as if all my worries all bein blown away..e beach aso made me calm down n tink..mayb dat's e reason y i lik e beach..

ok guess i haf to cont tis fun..im supposed to ask 5 other pple to do e same tinx as im doin..to write abt 5 random tihings abt urself n rmb to cont e fun..

i shall [tag] collen, minfeng, alycia, mei n huiwen mama..

yest nite drmt of somebody again..already e 3rd time in tis mth le..woa so scary..ok did nth much aso..juz proud to say i did my sit-ups todae aso d=

todae wake up duno y body achin..my butt hurts lor..didnt rmb knockin into stuff aso..

yawnx todae both my sis went chalet..e hse was so quiet in e afternoon..but 1 of dem comin back later..lucky..if nt dun dare slp le..

me goin complain abt c and e nw..soo bad..how can leave w/o sayin gd bye to me lor..woa me sadded..better reflect lor..u all come back den defend urself la..

hmm watched tv todae..learnt sth new..we shdnt live in e past..learn to let go n start life anew..ooo so intellectual rite? yawnx kp yawnin..